Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
