dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
