Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
