Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
