well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
