Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
