You can't special order awesome
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
