This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
