I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize