He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
