I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
