its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
