do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
either way he was missing a nipple.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
