he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
