i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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