I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
