you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you had me at cake vodka
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
