Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
