Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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