who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
