this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize