don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
