you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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