I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
