oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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