just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sober January is a disaster.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
