So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
