My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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