Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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