you guys were way drunker than both of me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
