Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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