This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize