I'm really into asian looking animals
My hand turned me down
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
