chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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