a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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