If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
