these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize