so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize