McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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