never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
