I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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