I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
