Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
