don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
