69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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