Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
