Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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