you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He did a backflip because drugs
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
