just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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