Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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