We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
