so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
