Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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