So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
