i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
