i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drunk walkin through police station. America
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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